Pounding the pavement

I am slacking on keeping up with journaling! A lot has been going on in the family and with being a family of 6 my downtime really is just sleeping haha!! I do use an app on my phone to record that runs that includes how the weather was what shoes I wore how I felt how much I weighed in at. I am at a standstill right now. I really don't know if I'm trying to lose weight or not. I surely loved seeing a smaller number on my scale when all I did was run. But now that I do some strength training with this cardio, I am gaining muscle and the scale is freaking me out big time. I do feel healthier though and that's all that matters. My last week of running hasn't been great either. I was not in the right mindset I feel a cold coming on and it just really slowed me down. I even skipped a training day and it was an easy 3 mile day I was scheduled to do. I just wanted to rest. Today came time for my 12 mile run and even though I felt absolutely awful from not getting more than 4 hours of sleep due to my son sleeping with me and kicking me all night, I still managed to get the job done. I am not one to run outside if it's not like 40 degrees or warmer. Well today was 21 degrees and a horrible wind was blowing and I told myself I'm just going to dress in layers because my mind can't handle the tredmill any longer I need fresh air! I feel so cooped up here!!! I wore my kayanos and camelback and cranked up the tunes and took off. I ran to nicolett and back. The first half of the 12 was super slow and wind right in my face. A lot of little hills. At the halfway mark I ate a honey stinger energy bar. I figured turning around wouldn't be too terrible cuz I was in the wind the whole time. Wrong. Wind shifter and was even worse on my last 6 miles. I can't even put into words the emotions felt during the last 6. Am I glad I did it? Of course I never regret a run. I just wish I was feeling better. At mile 10 a song came on my playlist that reminded me of my grandma and two yellow finch flew rigtb above my head. This made me tear up because my grandparents favorite color was yellow and it was just those two birds alone in the sky above me. That alone was enough to push me my last two miles. I finished my 12 but still had about a half of a mile left until my house and it was freezing outside so there was no way I was walking so I just continued to run home. My final mileage was 12.76. A journey well worth it.